By Raul Cabral
Inspiration to preserve the pleasant ambience of the milongas has encouraged me to write these few lines. I need not refer to the pleasant physical benefits the practice of tango brings to our health, as this is currently being done by innumerable medical studies. But I do wish to stress, although not exhaustively, the importance of the mental benefit – the emotional benefit we derive from the milongas.
For most of us, preoccupied after long days of work, going to a milonga affords us respite, a place where life’s tribulations may disappear or at the very minimum seem to dissipate. Here, of course, is where we communicate, where we find an established setting to express ourselves socially. Our suffering set aside, it is here we are able to calm our spirit. Our dance breathes optimism into our lives and when charged with this positive energy, many find it easier to confront life’s battles.
Therefore, in order to participate in the true spirit of the milonga, first, we all need to commit to that which is a mutual obligation, to conserve and whenever possible, add to its festive spirit. All of us should contribute, taking necessary care to assure this continues. Our appropriate behaviors at the milongas will help make this happen.
Tango possesses so many positive qualities, yet sometimes wrong conduct sabotages the possibility of these positive qualities coming together. I invite you to reflect upon one behavior in particular, even if you do not share in this commentary.
In general tango classes are given privately or before the start of the proper milonga referenced above. One reprehensible behavior is teaching anyone to dance after the start of or during the time of the milonga. Those who do should understand their actions are nothing more than a mere attempt to teach. All of us who are professional dancers, teachers, maestros, etc., absolutely all, know that in a few minutes it is impossible to teach or to learn. I repeat, it is merely an attempt and those who attempt this are fully aware of whom the victims of their arrogance and inferiority complex may be. The usual victim is the novice or inexperienced dancer at the milongas, eager to learn and enter into our marvelous world or, better yet, the occasional dancer, most likely a beginner, who has spent little time on the dance floor, who will acquiesce silently in order to avoid facing major troubles.
At first the intention would appear noble and generous, but this hides the true and unpleasant expression manifested by this behavior which is to assert oneself or make oneself appear to be an expert within the dance. A second intention of he who attempts to teach or make corrections during the dance is to imprint an indelible message upon his partner that she lacks skill, is clumsy or is not capable. He does this by correcting or reproaching errors during the dance, typical of all dance couples at one time or another, as if exclusive to his current partner. Even if his partner feels magnificent within the dance and does not concur, he will criticize her trying to prove her lack of knowledge, even to the point of becoming rude and unpleasant. Of course, then, the partner becomes angry. As incredible as this may sound, this clearly describes the behaviors of these “personalities”. What these “personalities” don’t realize is that the person on the receiving end of their so-called recommendations actually feels disgraced, their momentary or casual error publicly displayed, so that all can see.
Lacking in attributes, what these know-it-alls really need know is that chatter pertaining to their attitudes circulates, regarding them highly unfavorably because they demonstrate nothing but negativity towards others. They are actually milestones away from their purpose of trying to prove their expertise.
While dancing, if a mistake occurs, even if the mistake is not yours, expressing an apology makes you the better man. Every woman will be eternally grateful, as this raises her self-esteem and her confidence in her partner, the result having an immediate consequence, a better tango. If for some reason, that is not the case, always; the milonga offers the possibility of another partner with which to share a marvelous few minutes of tango.
In my role as a maestro, oftentimes my partners request or invite me to advise or warn them of that which I would consider an eventual correction of their dance, even sometimes wanting me to judge or quantify their dancing skills right then and there at the end. Not even at that moment, having their consent to do so, do I espouse any opinion. I refuse to do so, the reason being my understanding of the implications of my professional title.
You do not teach or make corrections to anyone’s dance at the milongas, as this is reserved for private settings. My stated position on this issue is shared for the most part by all maestros and instructors, therefore; I ask, why should anyone accept that dancers, possessing no authority by training, pretend to teach at the milongas? You do not teach or correct anyone in the milongas; the private setting is reserved for this. Furthermore and foremost to this condition, to truly teach, one must always first rely upon the other person accepting you do so.
Anyone who possesses increased knowledge can transmit that knowledge anywhere, except in the milongas, where doing so only serves to cloak one’s arrogance and lack of pride. No one ought to desire, arousing in others, such negative sentiments.
We should go to the milongas to share in the party and have fun rejoicing together, not to teach. Preserve the atmosphere of the milongas, so that it continues to be a welcoming place, an inexhaustible fountain that provides us only pleasure.
The milongas belong to everyone, let’s take care of them.
Thanking you for the opportunity to serve you.
Raul Cabral
Inspiration to preserve the pleasant ambience of the milongas has encouraged me to write these few lines. I need not refer to the pleasant physical benefits the practice of tango brings to our health, as this is currently being done by innumerable medical studies. But I do wish to stress, although not exhaustively, the importance of the mental benefit – the emotional benefit we derive from the milongas.
For most of us, preoccupied after long days of work, going to a milonga affords us respite, a place where life’s tribulations may disappear or at the very minimum seem to dissipate. Here, of course, is where we communicate, where we find an established setting to express ourselves socially. Our suffering set aside, it is here we are able to calm our spirit. Our dance breathes optimism into our lives and when charged with this positive energy, many find it easier to confront life’s battles.
Therefore, in order to participate in the true spirit of the milonga, first, we all need to commit to that which is a mutual obligation, to conserve and whenever possible, add to its festive spirit. All of us should contribute, taking necessary care to assure this continues. Our appropriate behaviors at the milongas will help make this happen.
Tango possesses so many positive qualities, yet sometimes wrong conduct sabotages the possibility of these positive qualities coming together. I invite you to reflect upon one behavior in particular, even if you do not share in this commentary.
In general tango classes are given privately or before the start of the proper milonga referenced above. One reprehensible behavior is teaching anyone to dance after the start of or during the time of the milonga. Those who do should understand their actions are nothing more than a mere attempt to teach. All of us who are professional dancers, teachers, maestros, etc., absolutely all, know that in a few minutes it is impossible to teach or to learn. I repeat, it is merely an attempt and those who attempt this are fully aware of whom the victims of their arrogance and inferiority complex may be. The usual victim is the novice or inexperienced dancer at the milongas, eager to learn and enter into our marvelous world or, better yet, the occasional dancer, most likely a beginner, who has spent little time on the dance floor, who will acquiesce silently in order to avoid facing major troubles.
At first the intention would appear noble and generous, but this hides the true and unpleasant expression manifested by this behavior which is to assert oneself or make oneself appear to be an expert within the dance. A second intention of he who attempts to teach or make corrections during the dance is to imprint an indelible message upon his partner that she lacks skill, is clumsy or is not capable. He does this by correcting or reproaching errors during the dance, typical of all dance couples at one time or another, as if exclusive to his current partner. Even if his partner feels magnificent within the dance and does not concur, he will criticize her trying to prove her lack of knowledge, even to the point of becoming rude and unpleasant. Of course, then, the partner becomes angry. As incredible as this may sound, this clearly describes the behaviors of these “personalities”. What these “personalities” don’t realize is that the person on the receiving end of their so-called recommendations actually feels disgraced, their momentary or casual error publicly displayed, so that all can see.
Lacking in attributes, what these know-it-alls really need know is that chatter pertaining to their attitudes circulates, regarding them highly unfavorably because they demonstrate nothing but negativity towards others. They are actually milestones away from their purpose of trying to prove their expertise.
While dancing, if a mistake occurs, even if the mistake is not yours, expressing an apology makes you the better man. Every woman will be eternally grateful, as this raises her self-esteem and her confidence in her partner, the result having an immediate consequence, a better tango. If for some reason, that is not the case, always; the milonga offers the possibility of another partner with which to share a marvelous few minutes of tango.
In my role as a maestro, oftentimes my partners request or invite me to advise or warn them of that which I would consider an eventual correction of their dance, even sometimes wanting me to judge or quantify their dancing skills right then and there at the end. Not even at that moment, having their consent to do so, do I espouse any opinion. I refuse to do so, the reason being my understanding of the implications of my professional title.
You do not teach or make corrections to anyone’s dance at the milongas, as this is reserved for private settings. My stated position on this issue is shared for the most part by all maestros and instructors, therefore; I ask, why should anyone accept that dancers, possessing no authority by training, pretend to teach at the milongas? You do not teach or correct anyone in the milongas; the private setting is reserved for this. Furthermore and foremost to this condition, to truly teach, one must always first rely upon the other person accepting you do so.
Anyone who possesses increased knowledge can transmit that knowledge anywhere, except in the milongas, where doing so only serves to cloak one’s arrogance and lack of pride. No one ought to desire, arousing in others, such negative sentiments.
We should go to the milongas to share in the party and have fun rejoicing together, not to teach. Preserve the atmosphere of the milongas, so that it continues to be a welcoming place, an inexhaustible fountain that provides us only pleasure.
The milongas belong to everyone, let’s take care of them.
Thanking you for the opportunity to serve you.
Raul Cabral
8 comments:
This piece explains why I feel like I've been slimed on by supposedly "helpful" partners, who attempt to correct and instruct me at milongas.
I am a beginning dancer; I work on my dance at every opportunity. At the milongas, I don't want to work; I just want to enjoy!
Thank-you, Raul, for writing this peice!
Thank-you, Clay for posting it!
I may keep a copy handy!
Being a person who is over-sensitive to criticism, I would say that classes aren't the place to teach either, unless, of course,you happen to be the teacher.
I heard Luciana Valle say in a beginner class "Before you criticize your partner count up to 1055, and if the urge doesn't pass count again."
If I want feedback I'll ask for it, and it would be unusual to ask my partner for feedback in a class since there's a teacher handy to get more reliable feedback from. If someone likes getting criticism from their partners, they can always ask. Peter
Wow! Thanks so much for this insightful piece. It sure has opened my eyes.
On a few occasions, I’ve shown a partner some one thing or another and I had no idea how nefarious such activity was. I am now chagrined and deeply embarrassed. I truly had no idea how egotistical and cruel I was being at the time.
I am so glad Raul has laid out so clearly the “appropriate behaviors” and “wrong conduct” so that I never again dare break this particular taboo.
Again, it came as a shock to realize, thanks to his admonitions, that I had engaged in “reprehensible behavior” and that I was “fully aware of whom the victims of (my) arrogance and inferiority complex” were. I have to admit that I was aware of who these women were, being that they were directly in front and connected to me in the dance. (Perhaps, if I had been indifferent to whom the victims of my arrogance and inferiority complex were, it might have been a slightly reduced level of tango criminality? This needs, I think, to be clarified. But, this is just a very minor criticism of the article and shouldn’t be seen as diminishing my overall admiration for it as a whole.)
How, I now have to ask myself, could I have been so psychologically blind to have missed that one of my primary intentions was to “to imprint an indelible message upon (my) partner that she lacks skill, is clumsy or is not capable” – in essence, that my sadism, knew almost no bounds? And again, I have to thank Raul for pointing out that “doing so only serves to cloak (my) arrogance and lack of pride.
So, thanks for sharing this enlightening information. I will attempt henceforth to berate myself heavily and incessantly if I ever happen to slip into such an abominable transgression again. I have to admit that I had forgotten that tango evolved in cultures in which guilt is an essential undercurrent, taught from birth onward and that I hadn’t participated sufficiently in that aspect of the dance. I’ll see what I can do in the future to self-police myself and apply deep remorse if I ever again happen to exhibit the slightest deviation from the dictates of the masters.
I agree with all of this, but please, please don't center the text of posts. It's much harder to read.
Thank you for posting this. I love the milongas and the time to loose yourself in the music & dance. I do many forms of dance (Tango is my favorite!), but some slips are actually an ingrained habit from another form of dance not an indication that I do not know what I am doing. (i.e. If my turnout is too large, I may have been teaching ballet all day or if I stiffen my stance & lean back, I may have just finished a ballroom class...).
I work hard to "switch hats" so to speak and fully immerse myself in Argentine tango when I am at Milonga or class. I ask my instructors to really criticize my technique in class so as to improve & progress. Class & practicas are the place to do this. A milonga is not. If I ask for your opinion (i.e. please let me know if you feel my arm stiffening), by all means give it, but otherwise let's just dance & enjoy at Milonga!!!
Ladies please....If a man even attempted to teach at a milonga in BA the follower would stiffen her back wave her finger in your face utter only one word "NO" and walk back to her seat leaving you standing in the middle of the floor for all to see you for exactly what you are "a clown"
Bravo Raul
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